btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
Randomize
