gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
Randomize
