I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
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