Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
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