Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Terrible idea I love it
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
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