Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
I think my vagina is haunted
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
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