if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
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