Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
Randomize