College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
