just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
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