5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
the highlight of my day was when my dad called me when I was watching porn and I muted it instead of pausing it.
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
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