it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
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