There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
Randomize