Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
Randomize
