Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Randomize
