It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
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We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
Randomize