her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Randomize
