Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
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