She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
Randomize
