At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
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