help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
apparently the secret to your success is patron
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize
