last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
Randomize
