Non-Jews are for practice
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
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