I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
When are your genitals available?
At least life still wants to fuck me.
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
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