it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
Randomize
