3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
Randomize
