covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
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