If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
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