I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Randomize
