zippers are such a cool invention
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
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