it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
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