weddingsv make me drug and hornr
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
Randomize
