Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
You know you're getting old when 19 year olds you've met on tinder advise you that you should start looking for a wife and/or the mother of your children
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
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