he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
Randomize
