dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Randomize
