Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
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