Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
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On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
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The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY