Texts From Last Night

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  (231): View more from Michigan

  Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub.  I was in it.

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  (231): Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub.  I was in it. http://tfl.nu/n970
  Replies (29) Good night (532) Bad night (1723)
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  (718): View more from New York

  We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun

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  (718): We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun http://tfl.nu/cluc
  Replies (18) Good night (7853) Bad night (733)
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  (571): View more from Virginia

  i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.

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  (571): i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms. http://tfl.nu/yba6
  Replies (21) Good night (6167) Bad night (939)
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  (254): View more from Texas

  There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.

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  (254): There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN. http://tfl.nu/m7t2
  Replies (35) Good night (7303) Bad night (1544)
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  (419): View more from Ohio

  two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome

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  (419): two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome http://tfl.nu/ey6z
  Replies (11) Good night (5127) Bad night (1074)
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  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'

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  (+44): I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.' http://tfl.nu/vhcz
  Replies (5) Good night (2688) Bad night (1681)
• Favorite

  (312): View more from Illinois

  my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.

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  (312): my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer. http://tfl.nu/1z92
  Replies (6) Good night (1143) Bad night (542)
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  (972): View more from Texas

  I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.

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  (972): I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants. http://tfl.nu/algc
  Replies (7) Good night (1086) Bad night (901)
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  (778): View more from British Columbia

  I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.

  (1-778): View more from British Columbia

  You fool.

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  (778): I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps. (1-778): You fool. http://tfl.nu/kp0u
  Replies (10) Good night (1140) Bad night (880)
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  (780): View more from Alberta, CA

  Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family

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  (780): Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family http://tfl.nu/lw7x
  Replies (1) Good night (1080) Bad night (353)
• Favorite

  (347): View more from New York

  WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA

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  (347): WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA http://tfl.nu/6u80
  Replies (5) Good night (985) Bad night (509)
• Favorite

  (417): View more from Missouri

  Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead

  (1-417): View more from Missouri

  Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.

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  (417): Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead (1-417): Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp. http://tfl.nu/xy3p
  Replies (7) Good night (726) Bad night (301)
• Favorite

  (401): View more from Rhode Island

  He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.

  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  You're such a Yankee.

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  (401): He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable. (508): You're such a Yankee. http://tfl.nu/y54r
  Replies (0) Good night (729) Bad night (325)
• Favorite

  (917): View more from New York City

  It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask

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  (917): It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask http://tfl.nu/rcu9
  Replies (1) Good night (409) Bad night (314)
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  (703): View more from Virginia

  She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it

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  (703): She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it http://tfl.nu/i9kz
  Replies (2) Good night (325) Bad night (345)

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