Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
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PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.