I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
The Internet Is Obsessed With This Stripper Who Dropped It Low Just To Eat A Slice Of Pizza
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
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