hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
25 Of The Most Cringeworthy Internet Stalking Fails
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
21 People Who Barely Escaped Death
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!