Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (813): View more from Florida

  Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (813): Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person http://tfl.nu/pnlg
  Replies (55) Good night (3423) Bad night (579)
• Favorite

  (314): View more from Missouri

  i wish starbucks made bloody marys

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (314): i wish starbucks made bloody marys http://tfl.nu/p9ip
  Replies (21) Good night (3952) Bad night (683)
• Favorite

  (360): View more from Washington

  I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (360): I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high. http://tfl.nu/uw52
  Replies (12) Good night (3279) Bad night (895)
• Favorite

  (314): View more from Missouri

  doooooooo herrrrrrrrr

  (504): View more from Louisiana

  I'm out of practice. be my yoda

  (314): View more from Missouri

  put your penis in her you must.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (314): doooooooo herrrrrrrrr (504): I'm out of practice. be my yoda (314): put your penis in her you must. http://tfl.nu/ti1e
  Replies (58) Good night (18224) Bad night (1044)
• Favorite

  (541): View more from Oregon

  at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (541): at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard. http://tfl.nu/6ebl
  Replies (19) Good night (6959) Bad night (585)
• Favorite

  (310): View more from California

  He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (310): He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit http://tfl.nu/vjau
  Replies (17) Good night (712) Bad night (5714)
• Favorite

  (612): View more from Minnesota

  My dermatologist just asked me, "what happened here?" referring to the bruising on my nipples. I told her I walked into a door. Thanks for that awkward moment.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (612): My dermatologist just asked me, "what happened here?" referring to the bruising on my nipples. I told her I walked into a door. Thanks for that awkward moment. http://tfl.nu/bb74
  Replies (8) Good night (4444) Bad night (1350)
• Favorite

  (516): View more from New York

  do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (516): do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ? http://tfl.nu/or6i
  Replies (6) Good night (2724) Bad night (921)
• Favorite

  (970): View more from Colorado

  At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (970): At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name http://tfl.nu/d4zs
  Replies (12) Good night (3828) Bad night (1079)
• Favorite

  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (610): I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out. http://tfl.nu/jm8j
  Replies (12) Good night (3619) Bad night (1102)
• Favorite

  (973): View more from New Jersey

  We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (973): We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness. http://tfl.nu/5j3m
  Replies (17) Good night (2670) Bad night (981)
• Favorite

  (253): View more from Washington

  Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (253): Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night http://tfl.nu/3m0v
  Replies (4) Good night (1049) Bad night (890)
• Favorite

  (201): View more from New Jersey

  Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (201): Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion? http://tfl.nu/hwen
  Replies (8) Good night (1013) Bad night (428)
• Favorite

  (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (570): They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America. http://tfl.nu/4pz5
  Replies (4) Good night (512) Bad night (240)
• Favorite

  (212): View more from New York

  My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (212): My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon. http://tfl.nu/pnvy
  Replies (3) Good night (495) Bad night (316)

Randomize