There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
I party with great urgency now.
Randomize
