Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
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