i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
Randomize
