I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
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