everyone is single if you try hard enough
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
Randomize
