also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
Randomize
