it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
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