first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
I'm so tired of dating women who lie about their age. You show up feeling like you need to follow them around with a dust pan and a broom.
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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