you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
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