I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
Randomize
