You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
