I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
Randomize
