I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
Randomize
