I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
Randomize
