i don't plan on having that self control this summer
I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
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