I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
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