SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
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