He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
he had hair everywhere except his balls
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
Randomize
