I swear she didn't look like that last week.
Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
Randomize
