Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
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