dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
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