Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
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