Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
Randomize
