It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
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