And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Randomize
