it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
Randomize
