Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
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