There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
Randomize
