Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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